don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
