i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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