just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I would ride that face into the sunset
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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