I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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