I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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