You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
