Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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