Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
