i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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