i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
