I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
