you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
