Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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