Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
