Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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