Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
