Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
