Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
