i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
