Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.

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(813): View more from Florida

I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.

(407): View more from Florida

i think you have the wrong number

(813): View more from Florida

so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.

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(903): View more from Texas

One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.

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