Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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