you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
