Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
