Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
