I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
