oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
