ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
