Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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