yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
