Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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