I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
