when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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