he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
