Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize