I just pynch a tree in the face
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
