So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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