Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
