2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
