I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
