she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
