He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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