I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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