Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize