sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
