i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
