Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
