marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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