i just had sex bonerless
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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