I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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