I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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