Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
