Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
