I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
