she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
