yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Quick, to the slutcave!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
