Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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