no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
