running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
