she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize