so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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