i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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