Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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