I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
