he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
