Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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