is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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