That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
