hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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