I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize