He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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