she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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