Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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